You have probably heard that you cannot date in the first year of sobriety and that is probably a wise decision, but what do you when you have a year and you are headed on your first date since you got sober? Dating is a big deal and can be relatively terrifying to someone that may just be learning about themselves with all the work they are doing to have better relationships in their recovery. Take a deep breath and be thankful that you got to this point in your sobriety. Although you may be nervous to go on a first date because most people are, take a look at some suggestions to get you through your date and have fun while you are on it.
Take it one minute at a time
In recovery, you were probably told to take your sobriety one day at a time, so why not do the same thing with your date? Take each minute to be in the moment of what you and your date are doing so that you can experience it without letting your fear take over.
Being worried about the outcome or what will happen in the future may be the very thing that keeps you from enjoying what is happening right in front of you. Use your recovery tools to help settle any nerves you may feel before and during your date so that you can have a really good time.
Keep it simple
There is no need to tell your date everything about yourself on the first date. Of course, you want to be open and honest, but that does not mean that you should spill your guts. Ease into the conversation so that you will have more stories for future dates. And if you do everything on the first date, you will not them guessing and wanting more. Use the mentality of why would they want to buy the cow if they get the milk for free?
Think before you speak
Avoid topics that include politics, religion, and your ex. Once you two get to know each other better, these taboo topics will eventually make their way into your conversation. For now, talk about light-hearted subjects that can really showcase the highlights of your personality.
Going on a first date is certainly not for the weak-minded and may be awkward at first. Let your guard down like you would in a meeting and get to know the person for who they are while both of you continue to maintain sobriety together.
If you or someone you know needs help with alcohol or drug addiction, Renewal Recovery Solutions can give you the support that you need to get sober. Our clinical staff and counselors can integrate a model for recovery that combines therapy and discovery to heed lasting results.
Call us today to get started!